When Sarah, a seasoned leader in a mid-sized company, was asked to lead her team through a major organizational restructure, she knew the road ahead would be challenging. The restructure was necessary, but it meant that her team would experience a significant amount of disruption—changes to roles, reporting structures, and, for some, even job security. As Sarah prepared for this transition, she drew on her understanding of the Kübler-Ross Grief Model and the Change Curve. What she didn’t realize yet, though, was how much her own self-awareness would shape her ability to guide her team through the difficult journey ahead.
At the outset, Sarah gathered her team for an open meeting. The first reactions she saw were rooted in denial—a common first stage of the Change Curve. Some team members, including Janelle, seemed dismissive of the news. “It’s not as bad as they say, right?” Janelle said with a nervous laugh. Sarah recognized this reaction immediately; Janelle wasn’t processing the reality of the change. Sarah had been through her own moments of denial in the past, but now she saw them clearly in Janelle. This moment of pause allowed Sarah to recognize the tension in the room, and take a different approach.
Rather than pushing for immediate agreement or enthusiasm, Sarah took a deep breath and said, “I understand that this is a lot to process. Let’s take a few days to think it over, and then we’ll talk about how we can move forward together.” Her ability to stay calm and empathetic helped her team feel safe in their uncertainty. Self-awareness allowed Sarah to avoid pushing her team too hard and gave her the insight to offer space for reflection.
As the days passed, Sarah noticed that some team members, like Oliver, began to express anger. Oliver had been with the company for years and was now facing a change that affected him directly. “Why didn’t they ask for our input before making these decisions?” Oliver snapped during a team meeting. The frustration was palpable, and Sarah could see that Oliver’s anger wasn’t just about the restructure—it was about feeling unheard and powerless in the process.
Sarah could have responded defensively, but she remained grounded. She knew that responding to anger with anger would only escalate tensions. Instead, Sarah acknowledged Oliver with empathy: “I hear you, Oliver. It’s frustrating when change feels like it’s happening without us. Let’s talk about what we can do moving forward to ensure everyone’s voice is heard. I’m committed to supporting you through this.” By validating Oliver’s emotions and offering a pathway for continued dialogue, Sarah not only defused the situation but also helped the team transition toward the next stage – bargaining.
As the weeks went by, Sarah saw more team members cycle through bargaining—trying to negotiate the terms of the restructure. Some were hoping they could preserve certain aspects of their roles, while others pushed for flexibility in how they would adapt. This was a critical moment for Sarah’s leadership. Her own internal response was to feel overwhelmed by the constant requests, but her emotional self-awareness helped her understand that these bargaining moments were a sign of the team’s desire to regain control over their situation.
“I know this is a lot of change,” Sarah said during a meeting. “Let’s figure out what adjustments can be made to help everyone feel more comfortable. I can’t promise we’ll go back to how things were, but I’m here to listen and see how we can best manage this together.” By staying open and flexible, Sarah helped the team move beyond the bargaining stage toward a more proactive, solution-oriented mindset.
As things progressed, the team encountered the depression phase of the Change Curve. Many were feeling fatigued and uncertain. Some were still unsure about their roles, while others struggled to see the purpose behind the changes. Sarah’s self-awareness played a pivotal role at this point. She recognized her own fatigue but understood that she couldn’t project it onto the team. Instead, she focused on creating small wins. She celebrated milestones in the restructure and acknowledged the progress her team had made, no matter how small. “We’ve made it this far, and that’s something to be proud of,” Sarah reminded them.
Finally, as the restructure began to settle into a new routine, Sarah saw her team move toward acceptance. They weren’t completely happy about all the changes, but they understood their roles and were beginning to feel more confident in the direction forward. Sarah’s ability to lead with self-awareness had helped the team not only adapt but thrive in the new environment. She knew when to step back, when to empathize, and when to lead with optimism. She had helped her team transform from a group of people in denial, anger, and frustration into a cohesive unit ready to take on the future.
Through this experience, Sarah learned that self-awareness wasn’t just a leadership skill—it was the key to supporting her team during change. By understanding her own emotional responses, she could empathize with her team, regulate her reactions, and adapt her leadership to each stage of the Change Curve. This enabled her to lead with clarity, compassion, and resilience, ultimately guiding her team through a challenging time with success.
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As we reflect on Sarah’s story, it’s clear that understanding the stages of grief is crucial for leaders navigating organizational change. Emotional responses to change aren’t linear, and employees will experience a range of feelings. Recognizing where you and your team are allows you to tailor your leadership approach with empathy and intentionality. Because Sarah remained self-aware, she was able to foster resilience and confidence throughout the process, ultimately leading her team through change with a shared sense of purpose and adaptability.
At OKA, we emphasize the power of grief and change because they highlight the emotional landscape that teams move through when faced with change. As a leader, it’s essential to understand that emotions are a natural part of the process—and the more self-aware you are, the better you can support your team in each phase. Whether you’re leading a small team or an entire company through change, recognizing the emotional stages of the Change Curve and embracing your own self-awareness will be key to building a resilient, adaptable culture.
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