EQ’s Behaviors are not all equal
The EQ-i model of Emotional Intelligence details 15 elements that make up the behavioral face we each show the world–what we look and sound like to the people around us. Three of these 15 elements/behaviors are highly correlated with each other. This subset of three elements are each particularly deeply rooted and difficult to directly affect. Within this power trio, each needs the other two and feeds the other two. EQ’s Big 3 are Self-Regard, Self-Actualization, and Optimism.
EQ’s Big 3
Self-Regard is your ability and tendency to see your full self (physical, intellectual, emotional–the whole thing) and believe yourself to be a good, likable person. Self-esteem, pride and confidence are rooted in Self-Regard.
Self-Actualization is your ability and tendency to set a goal and strive toward its completion. More about the striving than the goal itself, Self-Actualization is your engine forward. Drive, ambition, resilience, and any sense of urgency–these are all rooted in Self-Actualization.
What do EQ’s big 3 look and sound like? Well, these three critical EQ elements are braided to together in an inter-dependent tangle, so seeing one of these behaviors means you will likely see the others as well. Rather than trying to find illustrations of one without the other, let’s take a look at a terrific leadership example within which all three of these EQ elements are on bold and effective display.
Mark Maina’s movie Harriet is the life story of Harriet Tubman, a leading conductor in the United States’ underground railroad and a Union Army spy–one of the few women to ever lead an armed expedition for the U.S. Armed Forces. The following clip brings together a few scenes that have Harriet’s Big 3 on vivid display. Note her self-confidence (Self-Regard), her drive and sense of urgency (Self-Actualization) and the over-arching sense of hope and expectation–of faith (Optimism). Harriet Tubman is a wonderful example of effective leadership in general–and EQ’s Big 3 in particular.