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Hello and Happy Halloween to all our OKA friends!
Change can be scary. It is frequently disruptive and out-of-the-blue. When change is random or out of your control, it requires you to delay or abandon made plans or cherished routines. Sometimes these changes are irritating but low-stakes. For example: road construction forces you to take a new route to work. Other times, however, sudden changes feel devastating—a disease is diagnosed; a job is lost; financial circumstances dramatically shift. Many people would rather stay in unhappy or even unhealthy situations rather than face the change that could bring them relief. People regularly stay at jobs they hate because the uncertainty of looking for a new job is scarier than staying put. You know the saying: Better the devil I know than the devil I don’t.
This Halloween, let’s explore and illustrate the fear of change in a festive and thematic way: with scary movies! For the squeamish, those who scare easily, or those who simply don’t care for the horror genre, fear not; this blog will not revolve around the scary parts of these scary movies. However, discussing the plots to these movies is crucial to illustrating how they relate to all of us, and how we can learn from them – so beware of spoilers!
Horror Films—and Being Stuck
The two iconic scary movies I’ll use to illustrate my point are The Babadook (2014, directed by Jennifer Kent,) and the immortal classic, The Shining (1980, directed by Stanley Kubrick).
The characters in both of these movies are faced with a frightening change, and they are all forced to adapt or face grizzly consequences. Also, each movie uses an interesting narrative device: the protagonists in both stories are not so different from us. They are not remarkable. They are not superheroes. They are not evil and therefore deserving of their misfortune. They are distressed parents struggling to make ends meet. This is the core message and the opportunity for learning—with time, we will all find ourselves stuck; what will you do to get unstuck?
The Babadook: A single mother and her child fall into a deep well of paranoia when an eerie children’s book titled Mister Babadook manifests in their home.
Our protagonist, Amelia, hardly has time for herself. Her husband is deceased, and Amanda clearly struggles not to blame her loss on her son, Samuel, who has special needs. At work, Amanda is a caretaker for the elderly. The mysterious children’s book Mister Babadook appears in their house without explanation, and the first lines of the fictional book set the tone of the movie: “If it’s in a word, or it’s in a look, you can’t get rid of the Babadook.” The film’s titular monster begins lurking in the shadows, constantly looming and threatening Amelia and Samuel.
Amanda is stressed to her wit’s end, and we see her both psyche and her physical environment slip into tatter and disrepair. Her patience wears more and more thin with her son, and it feels as if there is nothing she can do. Finally, at the very end of her rope, she stops hiding and faces the monster head-on. Another line in the fictional book comes to mind: “I’ll wager with you, I’ll make you a bet. The more you deny me, the stronger I get.”
To truly defeat the monster that was taking over and destroying her life, she must acknowledge its existence and that this monster and its power was hers to own. While the presence of the Babadook is not her fault, dealing with it is her responsibility. The Babadook, of course, is a manifestation of Amelia’s loss and grief—a loss she was trying to deny and avoid. Neither Amelia, nor I, nor you, can get rid of the Babadook. Grief lives with us, it demands our attention or else it will grow. Hold onto that bit about grief – we’ll return to it.
The Shining: A family heads to an isolated hotel for the winter, where a sinister presence influences the father into violence. At the same time, his psychic son sees horrifying flashes from the past and sinister forebodings from the future.
The Shining hardly needs an introduction as both the original novel by Stephen King and the film adaptation by Stanley Kubrick are wildly successful and beloved. However, The Shining serves as the perfect foil to The Babadook. The “starting positions,” of both movies are similar: parents are struggling to make ends meet to take care of their children. However, one key distinction is that Jack Torrance is not a sympathetic character. Wendy Torrance is someone the audience roots for, although she begins the movie as timid and overly apologetic of Jack’s disturbing behavior. Throughout the entire movie, Jack remains selfish. The audience doesn’t witness him being a good father or husband. He takes the job as caretaker of the Overlook Hotel, tucked away in the isolated Rocky Mountains, complains about how hard it is (and how the hard work makes him a dull boy), but he never does any actual work!
As the movie continues, Jack becomes increasingly violent and sinister. As he refuses to think outside himself or put his family first, Wendy takes matters into her own hands. Wendy looks after their son, Danny, and keeps them both fed. When she tries to take an interest in Jack’s work and support him, Jack continues to push her away and remain selfish. As the Overlook Hotel sinks its claws deeper into her family, despite her terror, she keeps her head and saves herself and her son. Wendy and Jack’s journey presents a crystal-clear crossroads: change to save yourself and your family, or refuse to change, and die; the choice was theirs. Not choosing to change is the same as choosing not to change.
Dealing with Change the OKA Way
At OKA, our expertise on the topic of change is based on the research and writings of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. She built a change model on the stages of grief which allows us to sensitively process the pain that change can bring. Although our OKA friends are likely (and hopefully) not dealing with paranormal children’s books or haunted hotels, there will come a time when each of us gets stuck. Acknowledging our stuck-ness and accepting the change-challenge we are facing are both crucial steps towards growth. There are dozens of clichés and idioms that describe the surprises that life has in store for each of us. Horror movies show us dramatic (and spooky) examples of refusing to grow or change and the consequences it can have for us and our loved ones. If there is a way you think OKA can help you, your team, or your organization manage change, let us know. Even if it’s spooky, we’re up for the challenge. Thanks for reading and have a Happy Halloween!
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