EQ Surprise #1 — There is no Emotional Intelligence on a Desert Island

Emotional Intelligence Needs a Comparison

“I have low Empathy, but my Assertiveness is high.”  This statement only makes sense when I compare my Emotional Intelligence—my social behavior—to others around me.  In fact, comparison with others is the only thing that gives EQ any meaning at all.

Many assessment tools yield results that are independent of other people’s results—like the Myers-Briggs or the DiSC. For instance, with the MBTI assessment, if I am an INFP, those are my cognitive preferences regardless of anyone else’s preferences. Any comparison of me to anyone else or any group is irrelevant.

Emotional Intelligence and the EQ-i are quite different. Your Emotional Intelligence is significant only in relation to others around you.

A Low Score Compared to One Group is a High Score When Compared to Another

One of our OKA clients (a Ph.D. Physicist at a think-tank) has an EQ-i 2.0 Interpersonal Relationship score of 95 (a bit below average), but this was still six points above the average of his colleagues (also Ph.D. Physicists), so in his work environment, his Interpersonal Relationship (connecting and relating trust and compassion) was relatively pronounced. He was just below average walking down the street, but he was the model of development at work.

With Emotional Intelligence in general—and the EQ-i specifically, context and comparison are everything. As we at OKA remind clients: there is no Emotional Intelligence on a desert island.

For a deeper dive on Emotional Intelligence and its application, consider OKA’s EQ Workbook, by Hile Rutledge, 

and learn more about OKA’s EQ-i Certification classes.

OKA can also support your team or program with Emotional Intelligence workshops (online or onsite), 360 assessment programs and individual coaching.

Other Blogs in this Series

This blog is Part of a 7-part series of EQ surprises and tips. Below are links to the other titles in the series. Enjoy the exploration.

• EQ Surprise #2 – Forget Your Emotional Intelligence Scores
• EQ Surprise #3 – The EQ-i Shock Block
• EQ Surprise #4 – EQ Deficiencies are Hard to Work On
• EQ Surprise #5 – The Most Important EQ-i Elements are the Toughest to Move
• EQ Surprise #6 – You Can’t Dial Back and Overdone Strength
• EQ Surprise #7 – Small Changes in Behavior Make Big Differences in EQ